What’s on your to-do list?

Thursday, January 21st, 2010 in: News

8 days left before I’ll once again be on a 747 bound for Japan, only this time, I have no return ticket. I’ve spent the past few months slowly gearing up–both literally and figuratively–for the journey that lies before me. I’ve stocked my backpack with all sorts of compressible goodies, trying to achieve the most versatility with the least amount of equipment. I’ll be doing a test-packing this weekend, now that I have all the gear I’ve convinced myself I’ll need for the next year and beyond. One thing I’ve noticed through all the preparation, the mental aspects which I had overlooked at first have shuffled their way to the foreground. Trepidation, fear of the unknown, heartbreak and healing, strengthening friendships, and guilt for feeling like I’m leaving behind all these things, running away from those friends. From my family. From Sacramento. From my life.

But I’m not really escaping from anything. My life follows me wherever I go, and I take with me all all of the attachments I’ve built in my past, along with my expectations for the future. This mental baggage can really weigh you down if you aren’t careful.

So, despite my to-do list being a mile long, the task I’ve found myself dedicating my time to is not on any list. I’ve been cultivating strong ties to all of you, my friends and family and acquaintances and strangers. Not because I’m about to leave, but because everything in life is temporary, and the only thing we leave behind are our footprints on those whose lives we’ve touched.

I’m not escaping anything, I’m taking you all with me. I’m carrying all of you in my heart, and instead of weighing me down, it’s lightened my load tremendously. I’m sure I’ll repeat this many times, but thank you all, for being a part of my life. I carry your footprints with me to places where your feet may never reach, though I hope they do someday. Our time together has meant more than I can put into words, whether we spent years getting to know each other, or just an afternoon.

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