Book Review: The Game

Friday, February 4th, 2011 in: News

Perusing my host’s library, I came across a brown tome by the name of “The Game,” by Neil Strauss, a writer for Rolling Stone. Strauss is an average looking guy, with thinning red hair, thick glasses and a lack of confidence endemic to men the world over. What started as research into the secret world of pickup artists would change his life forever, putting him on the path to become a legend in the field, and change the way he thinks about women, relationships and himself.

The Game is a narrative of Strauss’s initiation into the world of PUA’s (Pick-Up Artists), which proved to be an engrossing read, and I scorched through its 450 pages in less than 48 hours, a first considering my usual reading pace. It shed light on the development of the PUA  community, the effect it had on their attitude towards women, and the downsides to success, namely the over-saturation of PUAs which decreased their effectiveness. There was plenty of intrigue and drama from the clashing of egos and abuse of their skill. Once a group of PUAs moved into a hollywood mansion, the party was destined for a messy end.

What I found interesting was the rationalization that less-than-attractive guys were forced to use their brains to find mates, which led to the development of these “techniques of attraction.” You couldn’t make someone like you, but you could play the situation to help develop attraction; using a variety of approaches, stories and techniques. PUAs would brag about their abilities to get girls numbers, kisses or more within minutes of meeting them, with the internet fueling their egos as they shared their foolproof techniques to break through the defense mechanisms girls used to filter through all the guys trying to get into their pants. It focused on developing confidence, breaking down our innate fear of failure, and being the alpha male, capturing everyone’s attention and being “the man.”

I couldn’t help but feel embarrassed for these guys. Not just because of the total objectification of women inherent in their approach, but that they felt like they needed to change everything about themselves to seek the approval of others. Even after their transformations and “success,” the PUAs still reeked of attention-starved children, seeking the admiration of their peers and basing their success on how quickly they could convince girls they weren’t the creeps they are. Deep down, some of those guys seemed like decent people, but they’d been conditioned to believe that that wasn’t good enough, and they sought to build confidence by reducing other people to equations of attraction. All too late, Strauss and his friends discovered that some of the PUAs had been playing the same mind-games against them in a silent coup. Ultimately, they were driven from the very temple they had built, and watched it melt before them.

I flipped through Strauss’s other book, the Rules of the Game; more of a how-to for transforming yourself into a PUA. If you’re reading this book, something isn’t working right, and you need to change in order to get results. I like the basis for this assertion; that lack of confidence is more detrimental to your luck with women than anything else, and in order to do that you need to change your habits. But the result of following these programs is an army of cookie-cutter peacocking douchebags, with a film of ego and misogyny covering what used to be a nice, albeit bitter guy. I think I’d rather be alone and happy with myself than “successful” with women; the price is too high.

I’m by no means a natural with women. In fact, I daresay I have terrible luck, perhaps because I’m so dense I don’t notice when girls like me, and I’m not driven to seek attention in that way. I prefer to be myself around others, and if they like me, the ball is in their court. It’s a terrible approach, but I’m a happier being comfortable in my own skin than feeling the need to change everything about myself for the sake of others. The real advantage to this is that if and when I do find myself with someone, I don’t need any scripts to know how to act.

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