Revisiting my Host Family

Tuesday, April 13th, 2010 in: News, Travel

It’s hard to say just how important the host family experience was for me as an exchange student; living with a Japanese family taught me so much more about Japanese customs and lifestyle than any class could have. One of the most memorable parts of that experience was 産前産後 (sanzen-sango, before and after birth). My host brother and his wife were about to have their second child, so they stayed at our place for the last month of her pregnancy, and for the first month after their baby girl, Ayano was born.  During that time, I got a chance to experience child-rearing in Japanese. To this day, I don’t know how to raise kids in English. When I left, their son, Haruto was two years old. It’s been 3 years since I’ve seen them. Would he remember me?

When I knocked on the door I heard the sound of children’s laughter, Haruto and Ayano answered the door, calling my name. Haruto had gotten a lot bigger, but still had the same face with the same smile I remembered from all those years ago. Ayano had grown into a miniature of her brother, with a round face and bright eyes, with the same heart-melting smile. The last time I saw her she couldn’t even hold her own head up, but here she was running around at knee-height, calling me デービッド君 and speaking in full sentences. Yumi didn’t let the responsibilities of being a parent take any of her sparkle away, but when I asked her 三匹目は？ (what about #3?) she laughed and said that two was plenty. I couldn’t disagree; playing with the kids all afternoon left me quite exhausted. I was like a human playground, carrying and swinging them around. Even when I was seated, they would swarm me and demand I play some more. It was the most fun I ever had with children; it was the most I’d ever felt like I wanted kids of my own, but at the same time, realize that I probably couldn’t handle it. Maybe someday when I’m not so afraid of commitment. Kids are a huge responsibility, and I’ve always believed that I need to prove that I’m capable of taking care of myself before I could attempt to take care of someone else. That said, I’m pretty sure my own kids couldn’t be as cute as Haruto and Ayano, so why bother? haha. In the meantime, I’m perfectly content with other people’s children; you can always give them back when you’re tired or they need a diaper changed.

Yusuke was working late so he wasn’t able to join us for lunch or dinner, but I got to see papa. His stomach troubles had long since passed, and was back to drinking as usual. I was a bit relieved to hear this, because I had brought with me the bizen-yaki beer mug I’d bought in Inbe. They were surprised that I remembered that first beer I drank with them, and admired the craftsmanship of my gift. I also gave them a small stack of photos from my memory box, and Haruto got one of the yo-yos I had brought for omiyage. I showed him how to wind and throw it, and he quickly caught on and spent much of the afternoon perfecting his technique. I hope he continues to play yo-yo; he’s the perfect age to start, and will definitely become a champ if he sticks with it. An old fogey like me has to be content with being mediocre at it.

I told them I had been flying by the seat of my pants, and hadn’t yet figured out where to stay the night. They graciously offered me their washitsu for the next couple of nights, although they all had early mornings and wouldn’t be able to hang out much. Yumi took Haruto and Ayano back home, and the evening quickly wound down after that. I slipped into my futon and contentedly slipped into a deep sleep.

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